A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Dock


I will warn you up front that 99.99% of Eve players would not tell you this story. I do not come out of it looking good, smart, clever, or the hero in this one. In fact, I look like an idiot. And a dumb idiot. If you are shocked by my candor, then you must be new here. I've always been willing to share my epic tales of adventure with my readers - both the good and the bad. There are no f**ks in my field, it is barren.

Last night Eve was boring. It happens from time to time. I probably visited about 27 systems and found nothing to engage. Mostly it seemed like Jackdaw Night for Noobs, as the damn things were everywhere. But they were a jumpy, scared bunch of Alpha Jackdaws that ran at the slightest shadow in local. Twitchy, non-fun, bunch of rabbits. The ones I did manage to wrap a scram around turned out to be stabbed anyway. And some Gate camps. And a SC Titan in Aeschee. Yawn.

Which reminds me, I ran into a Shadow Cartel pilot the other night that was stabbed. Our 1v1 wasn't going his way and so he just bailed. I wasn't as surprised as I would have been if he was in Tuskers, but it was close.

But back to the narrative. I know you are wondering how this ends.

Time to log off for the evening. My Dramiel slips into dock... you know that split second when you are docking, but right before the screen turns black? Yeah, thats when the Impairor undocked. Now normally I'd let it pass and just log off, but gosh darn it, I had put some time in and gotten nothing. So I grabbed a Arty Cane and undocked to pop him. Which I did in one shot of course. But not before the Nidhoggur had cyno'd in and docked up.

I warped off and then warped back. But then a transport ship (I don't remember which one) undocked. So I shot it some. And it docked back up. And yes, I now had a timer.

My house can get extremely chaotic at times. Two or three kids, a Father-In-Law, eight cats, and lots of drama can unfold at any time. Such was the case at this critical time. And so I left my chair for a minute to deal with some real life drama. Only for the briefest of moments.

You are probably ahead of me now.

Yes, the Nid had undocked and had me pointed under the timer. All I could do was laugh as my Hurricane toasted. I posted lol in local and we had a brief chat. It was funny, and it remains funny.

I've lost 1,801 ships/pods in Eve. I once died stuck to an asteroid in Null. I once died in a "safe spot" while I was in the bathroom. I once died three times in the same ship in Providence due to a glitch. I've died because my mid-slots wouldn't activate. Or because I undocked without checking my cargo for ammo. Or drones. Or because my ship wouldn't move. The servers have killed me a dozen or more times. (That doesn't happen much these days thank goodness) I could go on.

None of these stories happen to people who fit stabs to their Jackdaws.

I've written over 2,000 blog posts on this blog because I have stories to tell. Stories happen to people who undock and are bold enough to make things happen. Nothing happens when you are trying to be safe.

Be bold. Don't be afraid. It's all just pixels.

I can't wait to log on tonight and see what happens next.