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Whew. Thank goodness that is out of the way.
The image shows my BC killboard from this day exactly one year ago, and how it looks this morning. 12 months have passed and I thought we'd take a look at how I did over the course of those months.
On this date last year my win/loss record stood at 1,586 kills and 385 losses. Today that record stands at 2,690 kills and 540 losses. So over the last twelve months I've managed to go 1,104 and 155. That took me from just breaking the 10,000 rank, which is probably why I took the screenshot, to being ranked at around 1,400 or so. ( For those that have been long-time readers, or for anyone willing to look thru the archives, you know how much progress this really is. )
I'm going to go ahead and take some pride in the 1,104 and 155 record now, ok? Gimme a sec.
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Ok, back to reality. That works out to a monthly average of 92 kills to 13 losses. ( It is only fair to mention that BC and Eve-Kill do not agree on these numbers. BC has about a 100 more kills than Eve-Kill and Eve-Kill has about 100 more losses than BC for some reason. Like I said earlier, it don't matter. The only reason I used BC in this example is because of the rankings. Which I never really cared about until I was in a Corp that became #1 and they made a big deal about it.)
For someone who started this game as a soldier in Null, providing hero tackle and meat-shield abilities, I'd like to think that I continue to improve and get better at my craft. Why else continue doing it? All this comparison proves when the rubber meets the road, is that I am improving. And that is enough for me.
I've never striven to amass large numbers or to scale the heights in ranking, or do anything else involving kill-board numbers. But I have striven to be better at my craft. And my craft, at least over the last two years, has been low-sec PvP. And in that context I am pleased with my personal progress.
On a day-to-day basis? Not so much. I still struggle, I still make horrible mistakes, and I still find it challenging. Which is good. I also know that many of those challenges are self-imposed. That if I decided to train a link alt, or fly with boosters, or a scout, or use drugs in every fight, or station camp, or do any number of "easy" things - that I could improve my own numbers significantly.
But I continue to refuse. After all, this is a personal journey I am on. And I have my own council on how I choose to engage that journey. Every single kill, every one, was earned without those things.* And they will continue to be.
That is just the way I choose to do things.
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*PS: Before I take un-deserved heat over that statement, let me clearly state that I have nothing personal against how other people choose to play this game. This is ME I am talking about, not YOU. Get over yourself, undock and go fly around. It's fun.